I love what the late professor of organizational behavior in Case Western Reserve University and Harvard, David McClelland found out about three basic human psychological needs. https://psychology.fas.harvard.edu/people/david-mcclelland
You and I are looking for:
- Connections with other Persons (nAffiliation)
- Achievement (nAchievement)
- Power satisfaction (nPower)
It stands to reason then that you and I need to be aware of these needs which are often masked behind simply trying to live our lifes in a maddening world. The hustle and bustle of life is relentless. And we hardly have time to “live the examined life” (Socrates).
I have found that it usually takes a relationship encounter with someone with presence, to help me become aware of what I need to be aware of; my deepest needs. This person with presence is inviting, and non-judgemental. He or she is accepting of the other person without having to accept the other person’s beliefs that may obstruct personal growth.
In the context of this quality relationship, I have the psychological safety to be truly vulnerable. I can share my deepest disappointments, discouragements, and despair, knowing I am accepted and will be supported.
This conversation draws out thought processes, and emotional moments which together combine to bring to the surface, or the emergence of realization and awareness. Many times, the “aha moment”.
Insight is very often the initial movement towards change. And change requires the presence of another, truly present, and support for the person desiring change, to begin the momentum of the personal change progress.